I Didn't Think I Was An Emotional Eater
We Aren’t, Until We Are
“I’ve never considered myself an emotional eater… until I had a rough day, pulled 1/4 of a cake from the freezer, and ate it.”
That sentence, whether with cake or something else, is one I hear constantly. But, this time it was different because rather than judging themselves, they was reflecting on a moment that caught them off guard. They had set a goal for their eating habits, and were planning to move forward with intention. And although they weren’t hungry or craving the cake, they still went for it.
Why?!
Because like many of us, they were overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle it. So without even thinking, they pulled a spoon out of the drawer and jammed it through the buttercream and red velvet.
And what we often get confused about in this scenario is that it didn’t happen because they were weak, bad, or lacked willpower. This unfolded because their body was asking for comfort and food was the most familiar, available source at the time. So even though they were choosing intentionally all day, they still reverted to an old habit, because they’re human.
The Myth of What Emotional Eating Looks Like
Many people assume emotional eating means we’re in tears on the kitchen flour, shoveling ice cream into our mouths. Or we’re bingeing in secret, hiding hundreds of wrappers in our desk drawer. That we’re turning to food EVERY time stress hits because it silences our brains. Or that we’re constantly eating to cope because it’s just easier than dealing with it.
But emotional eating can look show up in some many different ways, like":
Eating while processing hard news
Buying pizza for a girls night in cry-fest
Grabbing a snack during after arguing with your kids
Studying for an exam with cookies as a reward for getting a question right
Ordering samplers for the table and noticing you’re the only one enjoying it
Resting a hand in the popcorn bag during the scary movie and taking a handful with every jump-scare
Sometimes it’s loud and dramatic, sure. But, there are also times when it’s subtle. When it’s an automated, quiet, undercover. And that’s why so many people say, “I don’t think I’m an emotional eater.”. Because in their minds, they aren’t, until one moment pulls back the curtain.
Don’t Feel Ashamed or Embarrassed
We aren’t always seeking advice when we share stories or occurrences like these. Sometimes we are just trying to recognize what happened and work through it. And to do that, we need name it. Not label and judge it, but allow a shift in awareness with it so we can acknowledge it in the future.
Because that moment wasn’t failure; it was a pattern interrupt. The awareness offers a pause or a clue, and encourages us to lean into it. Curiosity helps us tune into the why, so we can be preventive instead of reactive.
And this person could finally see how they respond to stress, so that they could take different action in the future to prevent this habit from continuing. It gave them the chance to ask:
“What was I really craving in that moment?”
“What do I actually need next time this happens?”
“How can I be more compassionate, instead of critical?”
“How can I offer myself the real support I need before gravitating to food?”
This is where real healing begins; not in perfect eating, but curious reflection!
How To Reflect and Reframe
We have to learn how to accept moments like these aren’t proof we’re incapable of doing something different. And to provide our brains with that proof, we need to ask, “What triggered that moment?” with compassion; instead of asking, “Why did I eat that?” with judgment. Offer yourself more time and energy to go deeper and consider:
“What emotion was I carrying before I ate?”
“What do I need right now that food might be trying to replace?”
“How can I support myself without guilt moving forward?”
Because whatever answers come up, they’re simply proof that your body is communicating with you. Not that you’re “right or wrong” or “good or bad”, just that you have a choice. And when you choose to listen with love instead of shame, you start rewriting the script.
The Takeaway
Emotional eating isn’t about weakness and it never has been. It’s a coping pattern that’s not yours. We watch and mimic so many actions throughout our lives, so this could have easily been picked up from a culture that taught you to push through, stay strong, and avoid feeling.
But, you’re allowed to feel! You’re allowed to pause and recreate your story. You’re allowed to treat yourself with kindness and respect. And you’re allowed to learn as you go. But if you ever need a reminder, you can email me at info.khhllc@gmail.com.
