Restriction Isn’t The Only Player
We often assume that challenges like overeating, emotional eating, bingeing, shame spirals, etc. are all rooted in one thing… restriction. The more deprived we are, the worse it gets and that’s true in some ways and for some people, but it’s not the whole truth.
You don’t have to be on a diet to struggle with food. You don’t have to restrict to feel out of control. And you don’t have to “just try harder” to fix it. The plans will only get you so far because the solutions and support are in something many don’t talk about, because they don’t know how.
We need deeper awareness and self-compassion to learn how to check-in with ourselves, not more guilt and shame.
Food Struggles Can Come From Anything
Overwhelm: When life feels heavy, chaotic, or uncertain, food often becomes the one thing we can control, or the one thing we can use to feel something.
When food becomes a coping mechanism or focal point, our eating habits are not about a lack of willpower. We’re searching for something and usually it’s relief, our brains crave it. So when we overeat, it’s not because we don't know what to do. We’re simply reaching for food because you're mentally maxed out, and it becomes an automation the more we do it without question.
If you want to make a change, consider this: Before reaching for food, pause and ask yourself, "Do I need food right now, or do I need a break?"And whatever your answer is, accept it without judgment.
Disconnection: If you’ve ever wanted to rip out your hair because you recognize that, “I’m not even hungry, but I can’t stop snacking”… That’s a signal you’ve disconnected from your internal cues.
Now, this is super common for folks who grew up ignoring their hunger and cravings or were taught to as they grew up. On the other side, those who live fast-paced lives may turn off all of their feelings to try and avoid burnout. They say things like “I don’t even taste it anymore” while eating, because honestly, they aren’t present with anything in their lives.
If you want to make a change, consider this: Sit down with your next meal in true silence. No phone, laptop, tv show, or book. Just your food and your experience with it. Notice the texture, smell, look, shift in hunger, and increase in satisfaction. Even a few mindful bites can start to rebuild connection.
Emotion Suppression: Food is soothing for a majority of us. Especially when we are raised to lean into it when we’re sick or had a bad day at school. It’s delicious, predictable, and almost always there.
But, when we haven’t been taught how to process emotions like loneliness, guilt, sadness, or frustration… Food becomes the go-to solution. We love comfort, we crave it, which is why it can quickly become a habit or coping mechanism.
If you want to make a change, consider this: The next time you feel pulled toward food during a tough moment, ask yourself, "What emotion am I trying not to feel right now?". Just notice it without a need to fix it or pile it with frustration, as awareness is the first step.
Perfectionism: That cruel voice that discounts all of your efforts and says, “You already messed up today, might as well go all in.” is not your friend. It’s not speaking from a place of hunger or support; it’s pressure to be better and when you screw up, you break.
When we view eating through an all-or-nothing lens, we feel like any misstep means we’ve failed. And what do humans do when we feel like we’ve failed We look for a way to cope or to feel validated. And for many of us, food is the tool that does just that.
If you want to make a change, consider this: Instead of focusing on being “good” with food, let go of this “right” or “wrong” mentality. Instead ask,"What would feel supportive right now, not perfect?".
Moving Forward
If food feels confusing, overwhelming, emotional, or a way to numb out… I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not broken. You’re human and that means we look for ways to find comfort, peace, relief, and support. Let’s take the pressure off and rebuild your relationship with food from a place of trust, not rules. And if you have any questions, you can email me at info.khhllc@gmail.com.
